The Poop Deck

Remember the first PC’s? The big heavy IBM-like AT’s? 8088’s? CGA, VGA, SVGA monitors. The bigger the better and heavier too. It was a struggle for some of us, me in particular, to learn DOS. Directories, files, folders. When to use forward slash and back slash. .bat, .config or config.bat, and *.* if you didn’t know… I was given a program called “Pathminder” from a friend of mine that really helped me do what I wanted more easily without having to get everything typed in just right. Then Microsoft came along with Windows. Apple never was in my picture back then for some reason. I liked the GUI’s. I thought they were cute and kinda made sense in some ways but I never looked into Apple or Macintosh. I was caught up in the Microsoft storm of sorts sweeping the PC world, and I tried to keep up with it and learning all the new things that came along. But I never could. I got to the point of feeling a little bit like it is hopeless to try. Helpless in some ways.

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Its kind of like the reports we hear about someone’s experience who survived the Bermuda Triangle. Disorientation, malfunctioning compass, strange occurrences and visions that appear so real yet, uncertain if it is or not.
Reality is up for grabs and they are all alone to try and define it for their survival. They just want to get out and back to familiar circumstances of their reality as they understand it. That is kind of how I feel and yet it seems that defining “familiar”, perhaps “stability” is illusive.

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I forgot what it was like to have a “significant other” to think about. It has been a while. I’m not complaining understand, but loosing touch with what that is all about has made me a bit insensitive to the plight of those around me who do have one. And I have to realize that those around me who do have one have an obligation at the least, to consider them when making plans for “self-time” and if I want time with a family member or friend, one-one-one or a grouping, I must realize they have other responsibilities and might not be able to have the time or, for lack of better word “freedom” to “get away” as it were.

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Over these, almost 2 years now, I have been dealing with “stuff” related to my past and the past of those I have lost in these years and before these years and of those still with me of my generation and prior generations. This process has helped me in some cases reconnect with a part of my life that makes me who and what I am, and also helps me understand me a little better. It has also raised questions that beg for answers yet to be discovered.
Most importantly, I think, it has made me realize how long I have been “Living in the now”, forgetting where I came from and not thinking much about “tomorrow”, the future as much as I should have these past years.

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As I mentioned in the summary of the year 2006, my Dad had a cochlear implant that restored his hearing in his left ear, and the on December th, I had a stapedectomy to restore the hearing in my right ear. Both are technological and medical miracles in my personal opinion. I grew up with a father that needed something in his ear all my life, and even with a hearing aid, Dad could hear OK, but not well, and it got worse over the years until he could hear no more. Thank you God for inspiring the people you did to work and discover a way to make it possible for others like Dad to hear well enough to re-engage in communicating with those around him. It has been life changing for him and all of us.

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My last entry was in February of 2006. To say “a lot has happened since then” in my life is an understatement to be sure. While looking back at those last entries, of February, to get caught up with where I was then and what want going on then, in light of what transpired since, I will summarize the year in this post from the last entry and then in following posts, go into more details as my recollections and reflections motivates me and they will be posted in the appropriate categories. I will try to keep it chronologically accurate if I can but the purpose of this is for an overview of the year at this point.

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It seems that when life changes, it happens so fast.
I adjusted to my parents point in time, I adjust to my childrens point in time and thus I adjust to my point in time.
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I know it’s time. Perhaps even overdue in some eyes. I have been thru this twice before. And now it is time for the third. My emotions and feelings about this one is the same as I felt for the other two’s first time to move out. It really is. My youngest is moving out and on with his life.
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I am very proud to announce that the Fleet will be increasing in size this coming September.
My first son and the love of his life are expecting a baby and I am very excited and proud that I will become a Grandfather.
It really hit me when I saw a picture of a sonogram of the little life that has begun to form what is/will be a little bundle in my arms some day. My Grandchild. An incredible miracle.
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It’s a very odd feeling when acquiring other peoples possessions “legally” and going through the boxes unwrapping each piece to reveal things I have never seen before, and then coming across something that I remember seeing when it belonged to someone else and realize it is mine now. I feel a strange sense of responsibility.
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